SMILE AWHILE

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

What do you get if you cross a pit-bull terrier with a Labrador puppy? A dog that makes you crap yourself and then runs away with the toilet paper.

Our local chemist was robbed last week and a large quantity of Viagra was stolen. Police say that they are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.

Did you here about the dyslexic alcoholic? He choked on his own vimto.

A man walks into the doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ..um..well..I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."